Dealing with Debt Collectors and Bailiffs sadly has become one of the more frequent and arguably most unpleasant side effects of the current Financial Crisis.
I once had a hysterical conversation with a management colleague of mine who also acted a “life coach” for two debt collectors / bailiffs and he came out with the statement that “you can always spot a debt collector or a bailiff as they are the ones always sitting in their cars drinking tea or coffee on their own as no one else will either buy them one or invite them in for a cuppa”.
The key part of the above statement is that on no account should you never ever let them into your house no matter how persuasive, nice, reasonable or bullying they are. Never let them in as once they get one foot in through the door then they assume additional rights and can claim to have been “invited in” and once inside their rights become almost draconian so rule No 1.
- Never ever invite them inside your property, house or apartment.
Rule two is don’t be intimidated by debt collectors especially over the phone. They are paid to get heavy; use pre arranged and scripted conversation techniques and just be polite, firm and say “no” to anything you don’t feel comfortable with.
2. Don’t get intimidated by Telephone Collection Agents.
The third rule you really need to be aware of is that it is essential that you or your professional advisor actually knows where the bottom of the hole you are in is. If you are $20K $220 in debt it is absolutely vital that you know where you are. A colleague of mine once said “if I owe the bank $20,000 it’s my problem as there is actually loads they can do to really make my life uncomfortable but if I owe them $2,200,00 it’s actually more theirs more than mine so just sit back and wait for them to stop bluffing and blustering and get real”.
3. Know exactly where the Bottom line is and what you (if no one else) are dealing with.
Next up, don’t be afraid to fight your own corner. These folks get paid to give you a hard time, dish it out back. In a former life I actually had to deal with a whole series of debt collection firms who pursued the living daylights out of me when a Company I was a Director of went into Receivership and I had guarantees called in. Some of the collections agencies were pleasant enough to deal with, some were awkward and quite a few were downright obnoxious. The latter were the category that after a while I had the most fun with. If you don’t want to do anything or feel uncomfortable then just tell them so.
I had one collection agency that used to ring me up when I had failed to make a payment on schedule and get really heavy and unpleasant and after a while I just used to dish the sarcasm back as follows:
Debt Collector: ”Mr Morgan you’ve missed another payment…again.”
Me: “How very observant of you, indeed I have.”
Debt Collector: “So what are you going to do about it?”
Me: “At this moment in time, nothing. I’m about to have tea (they always call at meal times) and will think about later whilst having a bath.”
Debt Collector: “Mr Morgan, you’re not taking this at all seriously and this could end up ending very badly?”
Me: “Could it? Oh dear, well there’s nothing that can be done about today, call me back later.”
Debt Collector: “Mr Morgan, you’re not hearing me properly and certainly are not listening to what I’m saying?”
Me: “No it’s you who are not listening to me. If I have some money then I’ll share it out but if it comes between a choice of either buying this week’s groceries or paying you an instalment then sorry boys and girls but you lose.”
Debt Collector: “So you are going to do nothing then?”
Me: “Exactly, what a bright bunny rabbit you are and I’m surprised it’s taken this long for you to catch on”
Debt Collector: “So you’re just going to put the phone down then?”
Me: “Exactly and with a talent for foretelling the future like that, can you also tell me this week’s winning lottery numbers and we’ll split the winnings? Thank you and good bye.”
So the last of this instalment of tips with dealing with debt collection is:
4. They get nasty? Just dish it back in spades either with venom or with sarcasm. Remember to them it’s just a business, for you its personal so don’t allow them to bully you?